talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
