At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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