i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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