I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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