Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
