She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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