Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize