I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He felt like a one man threesome
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
