Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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