im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my being single is dangerous.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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