just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize