we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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