She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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