Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
