Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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