I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
