Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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