The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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