I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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