Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
