Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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