i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize
