yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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