in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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