he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
