We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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