you're like a bully in the Christmas story
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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