if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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