i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Vodka?
Forever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
