actually, I'm a sock model
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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