I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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