im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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