ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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