Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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