I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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