So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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