After last night, I could never be a politician.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
wow bdsm is so cute
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