im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
