Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
