I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
