Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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