I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
