I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
