Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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