I think my vagina is haunted
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
