I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
