THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
