smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize