I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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