she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
