It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
