Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
