Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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