She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
