I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
