i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
