we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
