i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
