He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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