so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I know her cup size but not her name....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
